I watched my 2 year old son this morning being his most unpleasant self (I really don’t think it’s that complicated to eat the Pop-Tart that you’ve just screamed for!!) and I think ‘Bloody hell Finlay, why are you behaving like this?’ – what a shocking confession for someone who has spent 20+ years working in the field of human behaviour and understands where this behaviour comes from! I coach leaders and managers and yet my 2 year old is testing every skill I have in my tool kit!
So he is the best of me (he’s funny (I have been told I’m funny :-)) affectionate, cares passionately about what he does and is eager to learn and do well). He is also the worst of me (he’s impatient, controlling, demanding and fiercely independent).
I think about how I want him to be when he grows up and I want him to be all of those things – the good and the bad and to have balance and to listen, accept, and change his behaviour if he needs to.
I’ve spent time today thinking about his behaviour and thinking about the impact on the rest of the family and me personally, and I started thinking about my life as a ‘manager’. Do I spend this much time thinking about how my team are doing? Do I think about what I’m doing that’s helping or hindering them? How am I interacting? Did I ever care this much as a manager? Or is it all taken for granted because they’re adults and they/I should just know what to do and how to behave.
I think what I want to do over the next few weeks is think about every person in my team, and see if the best of them is the best of me and if the worst of them comes from me.
I’ve never thought about it in this way – yeah, I get role modelling – bloody hell – I train and coach this stuff, I bloody ought to……..but I’ve never spent any quality time thinking about the behaviours of my team and how I influence them – and how they in turn influence me.